Van Halen

Man, there's a new fear in my life---swinging.

I know what you're thinking--swinging's not something to fear, Senyor Madre, could all your suburban friends be wrong? Hey! I'm typing about the chain-and-rubber-seat swinging, the kind where you give and get pushes and then move your legs a certain way when you start to slow.

Wait, that didn't help. OK, playground swings, playground swings, dear readers. They are making me crazy when I take the darlings to playgrounds; more wince-inducing than sandboxes and more uncomfortable than grandparents chasing their grandkids around the equipment.

I used to worry mostly about the cutiepies falling while climbing or being pushed accidentally from up high or pitching over the side of a tall slide. Now, I only cringe when one of them goes near a swingset with other kids already in motion.

I don't remember this being a problem with Connor, but Gavin and Darcy have each been knocked down, and the damn thing is, you could never blame another parent for it. Your kid was the dummy, not theirs. Luckily, the collisions haven't been hospital-worthy, but all it will take is one of those damn heavy plastic chairs with the roller-coaster-ride-type restraint, and your kid will remain permanently in the La La Land that made him run into harm's way in the first place.

Saw it nearly happen a few times today, to other folks' kids, and made sure to warn my own anytime they stepped in that direction. It's one of those events you can imagine and flinch just imagining.

So, to summarize, get some bubblewrap, stay away from playgrounds with swingsets, or try to go when there are no other kids, and go have fun!